As today is the beginning of the new month, I challenge myself to write a new blog post everyday. I know it is hard and I might not be able to make it until the end of the month, but at least I want to try. By this way I should be more motivated to write something here. I searched for some of the great journal challenges and find one which is just perfect for November. I would not post all the questions here otherwise it would not be exciting for the one who look forward to reading my posts :P Rather, I will post the question along with the answer day by day.
Let's start with the first question: Describe a moment from today that you want to remember always.
Today is a cold but sunny day. I woke up early and went to Pourhouse Cafe at 9 am to read "Discourse in the Novel" written by Mikhail Bakhtin. It should be an intense day with this piece of reading. But turns out I enjoyed reading it a lot more than I expected. After 2 pm, I went back home to have lunch. After the lunch I felt so sleepy but I didn't know what happened to me when I packed my bag and put my gym short in the bag. I ended up going to gym again after several days of procrastination.
I took a bus to the SRSC, the biggest gym of the university. The moment that I changed to my usual gym outfit, I felt so great. It's been a month I haven't been there. But when I went there again today, it seems like everything is coming back on track.
I went to the cardio room I usually go. I plugged my ears with the songs from the new album of James Blunt which has just released a few days ago. I get up on the treadmill. And suddenly I know that this is the life I want. This is the life worth living. This is an alone time I have always longed for.
I built a little boat
With a sail from the memories I’ve been collecting
And I’ll hold out
For the wind to blow me, take me home the whole way, in your direction
Yeah, we both know
In between you and me, there’s an ocean
And I’m just trying to get a little closer
Pull me in, 'cause I’m here, and all I need is little warmth
This song name is Cold. Its lyrics and melody deeply resonate with me. A past few weeks had been rough and I had pretended so hard to think that everything is okay. But after I went back to gym, having my private time no one can bother, listening to the powerful voice of my favorite singer, I almost cried.
At that moment I felt pity for my life. I miss the people I love who live far away from me. I'm bored of my life right now. I don't want to spend time with people whom I don't connect with, both physically and spiritually. I miss my family. I feel sad for my mom. I want to run away from where I am now. It is the moment I felt I need to do something for my life. I should be kind to my life more than I am now.
And that is the moment I want to remember always: the moment when you felt so desperate that you started to push yourself harder to rise and shine again; the moment when you know there is a latent power and energy in your tired soul and body. It is this kind of hidden power in you that makes you go far in your life, the same way as when it makes you run faster and faster in a treadmill.